


pettifog

by fairyslush



Series: convivencia [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, M/M, Monsta X Bingo, also someone force me to write the sequel already ty, also wtf why do i end up writing so much for this stupid pair, i tried so hard with this domestic au it isn't as easy as i thought it'd be, idk man idk, they're so dumb i hate them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7635757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyslush/pseuds/fairyslush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pettifog (v.)<br/>-to quibble about petty points. </p><p>a forty extra for the monsta x fic bingo.<br/>prompt: domestic au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

this wasn't going to _work_.

wonho comes back to the entire bedroom wall painted in the darkest black to ever exist, a stark contrast to the pristine white he remembered leaving it with. mouth agape, he stares at the desecrated surface with quivering pupils, the browns of his eyes looking as if they were about to pop out from their sockets. in his shock, he barely notices the tiny post-it note stuck on one corner, and he peels it off to read the scrawl with a passion that demands nothing but answers,  
  
_you're welcome._ it reads.  
  
_-hyungwon ♡_. it screams (in wonho's head, at least.)  
  
"CHAE! HYUNG! _WON_!" the elder screams in divided syllables, hoping that the division makes his anger wholly known. the small note is crushed in a heap between his fist, and his knuckles grow whiter and whiter with each passing second of silence.  
  
"you're noisy." hyungwon deadpans, his blonde head trumpeting his entrance as he yawned into a delicate palm. "i was having a wonderful dream, too. do you know how hard it is to nap in a room that smells of paint?"  
  
wonho tries his best to keep himself from strangling his husband.  
  
"what is this?" he motions to the wall, one eye twitching when he sees no change in the younger's perfect visage. "this was _white_ \--pristine, _immaculate_ white--when i left this morning."  
  
"it was _disgusting_." the blonde doesn't even bother to sugarcoat his syllables. "i made it better. you're welcome. _goodbye_."  
  
"better? it's so dark! it's like the room of a se--" wonho stops in his litany as he notices the blonde's absence from the room. _damn_ that infuriating lawyer. if he just knew that this was what he was going to get into upon marrying the douche, he would've thought twice about--  
  
probably not. he knows he has it _bad._  
  
sighing, the dejected ravenette pushes his sleeves up upon his arms, keen on repainting the entire wall white before he goes back to the hotel room they rented until the house renovations were over and done.  
  
except, it seems like hyungwon wanted to stay in the hotel room a bit longer.  
  
wonho, again, comes back to his masterpiece painted over in pitch black, with yet another post-it stuck onto the slightly wet surface. he keeps his hand from stabbing himself in the neck with the paint knife, crushing the note in a shaking fist the millisecond after he reads its contents.  
  
_seriously. stop. - hyungwon _♡__  
  
he feels his ears twitch in anger at the irony.  
  
" _seriously. stop_." the elder does his best imitation of the blonde's prissy baritone, before reopening the paint cans and begrudgingly repainting the dark walls with his favorite shade of the brightest white. "persistent _asshole_."  
  
the day after that was the worst. it seems as if hyungwon didn't even wait for the paint to dry before remodeling the room into some sort of vampire's lair, as there were patches of fading gray in some areas of the wall. wonho spots another post-it note on the corner of the room, and he stops himself from breaking one of the floor-to-ceiling windows upon reading the writing.  
  
_you're never going to win against me, jagi. - hyungwon_ _♡_  
  
he curses under his breath at the truth of the statements, angrily painting over the blotches of gray and black while muttering a litany of curses. "not this time, _yeobo_ ," he taunts at the blonde that isn't present in the room, but the fumes of the paint seems to have left him a bit delusional. "i can fucking win against you too."  
  
to protect his precious work from being repainted again, wonho decides to camp in the empty penthouse for the night. once his stubborn husband comes in to transform their bedroom to a satanist's paradise yet again, he'd be awake and alert and ready to stop him. the room was going to be white, clean and pristine and immaculate, and hyungwon would just have to compromise.  
  
his dreams are awash with duct tape and rope and industrial strength glue before he is woken up by the pungent smell of paint and fumes.  
  
" _seriously_?!" wonho half-screams, still a bit groggy from being awake at such an ungodly hour. his body clock tells him that it isn't a little bit after three in the morning. "what the _hell_ do you think you're doing, hyungwon?"  
  
"i'm making our room much better." the blonde replies, not even sparing his husband a tiny glance as he continues on with his work. "i already agreed to having floor-to-ceiling windows. you can't make the room white too."  
  
wonho groans, both from the illogical reasoning (seriously, how is this guy a world-renowned attorney?) and the pain that is shooting from the base of his spine as he stands to his full height. "but black? you know i don't like the dark!"  
  
"you married me, though." hyungwon points out, pausing as he turns to look at his elder. black paint drips from the head of the roller unto the newspapers scattered on the floor. "anyway, i'll get you a nightlight. i can't take too much brightness, okay?"  
  
"you married _me_ , though." wonho parrots, unamused. he snatches the roller out of the younger's hands, the force of his act making splatters of black land upon the white wall. "still. one of us is going to have to compromise, though."  
  
hyungwon is silent, his eyes fixated on something behind wonho's shoulder.  
  
"what? what are you looking at?" wonho turns, his own peepers searching the area for what caught his husband's attention. " _oh_."  
  
" _oh_ ," hyungwon echoes, and the looks they exchange tells them that they might make something work.  
  
"it doesn't look so bad," wonho says, admiring this morning's work from where he was seated on the newspapered floor. in fact, i must say it looks quite...good."  
  
unable to choose between black or white, the couple decided to divide the room to their preferences. hyungwon's space was a clear, pitch black, his side of the bed pictured to face away from the windows. wonho's side was painted in an immaculate white, and he will wake up to the rays of the sun hitting his lovely face. ( _worst way to wake up in my opinion_ , hyungwon mocks) the space in which two of the sides meet were sponged to a delicate ombre, its middle subtly forming the shape of a heart.  
  
"meh." hyungwon shrugs, resting his head upon the elder's shoulder. wonho relaxes with a whiff of the strawberry shampoo he still wears. "i think the heart is a bit too much though. can we remove that?"  
  
"i'm not getting you blackout curtains if you do."  
  
the younger groans. "i _hate_ you, yeobo."  
  
wonho chuckles, mussing up the blonde's locks with his clean hand. "love you too, jagi."

 


	2. Chapter 2

"let's get a cat," hyungwon suggests, his brown eyes fixated on an adorable scottish fold. "i want to get a cat."  
  
wonho makes a face at the suggestion, not really fancying the thought of having cat hair polluting his thousand-dollar suits. "ick. do you really want to go the office covered in fur?" it was the blonde's turn to become sour. "besides, i think a dog is better."  
  
hyungwon rolls his eyes at the thought. "please. they slobber all over your face without your permission." he quirks a brow before giving his husband a condescending once-over. "come to think of it, they remind me of you."  
  
the elder can feel a nerve beginning to protrude from his forehead. "i won't even take that as an insult." he spots a playful-looking beagle from one of the litters and cradles it in his arms. the little pup seems more than happy to oblige. "dogs are great. they're loyal, loving, obedient, and fun. plus, most breeds don't get fur all over your clothes."  
  
"i don't need _two_ dogs in the house, hoseok." hyungwon taunts, turning his attention to the mewling scottish fold. "cats are obviously the superior race. elegant, posh, and reserved with their affections. dogs are only called man's best friend because they're too dumb to distinguish between friend or foe."  
  
wonho gasps in offense, covering the beagle's ears as he set it back to it's litter. "how _mean_! i'll have you know that canines are one of the smartest species in the animal world! it's just a plus that they're very loving. besides," he squints at his husband, puffing out his cheeks as he rubs each side of the dog's head. it wags its tail in glee. " _i_ don't need two cats in the house."  
  
hyungwon's mouth drops, and he scoffs in disbelief. " _fine_. what pet would you rather get? dogs or cats not allowed."  
  
"i don't _know_." wonho shrugs, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "why are you so keen in getting a pet anyway? you could barely keep the houseplants alive without the help watering them when it's time."  
  
the younger is silent for a prolonged moment, and wonho almost didn't catch his whispered answer.  
  
"i'm _stressed_." hyungwon mutters, unable to keep eye-contact as his arms cross over the other. "and you're rarely home ."  
  
wonho softens at his husband's confession. unlike wonho, who has to stay in the office until work ends unless an emergency happens, hyungwon has the freedom to choose where he works. despite being the owner of a renowned law firm, the blonde would rather work in the comfortable confines of his own home, staying in the firm for no more than two hours to align with his colleagues. plus, wonho has been coming home late for the past month, and hyungwon has buried himself in one difficult case after another, perhaps as a method to cope with the loneliness he refuses to confess to having.  
  
" _hyungwon_." wonho calls, loving as he pulls the younger into a soft embrace. "you _actually_ miss me?"  
  
"of course, you _idiot_." hyungwon pinches the back of the other's palm, but not hard enough to actually hurt. "and get off me. you're like, the biggest dog in the history of big dogs." his nose scrunches in disgust. " _disgusting._ "  
  
as if to tease, wonho just tightens his hold around his husband's form. "not when you're being this _cute_ , hyungwon. this is _rare_ , you know! you didn't exactly change your mean ways even after we got ma--"  
  
wonho's litany is disturbed once hyungwon's elbow hits him on the stomach. he doubles over in pain. hyungwon pays no heed to his crumpled heap of a husband as he walks out of the petshop, much to the shopkeeper's half-amusement.  
  
"sir, are you okay?" the shopkeep checks on the male on the floor, trying her best to stifle her laughter.  
  
"yeah. i-i'm _fine_." wonho tries his best to collect himself, dusting his coat as he painfully stands to his fuller height. "do you...do you think i should just get him a pet _fish_?"

 


	3. Chapter 3

"do you think this house is a _freezer_ , chae hyungwon?"

wonho is huddled in the corner of the couch that is furthest away from the air vents, shivering and shaking despite having three blankets covering his rather sturdy form. he shoots a glare at hyungwon, comfortably sitting across him in the cold while wearing nothing but a thin sweater and cotton pajama pants, who turned down their thermostat to resemble the 9th circle of hell barely a few minutes ago. unlike him, the blonde was seemingly unperturbed by the cold.

"stop being a _baby_ , hoseok." hyungwon deadpans, poring over one of the lawbooks he was reviewing for a case. "it's not even that cold yet."

"not even that cold?" wonho practically shrieks in annoyed disbelief. "it feels like antartica in here! _matilda_ \--" he turns and points at the fishbowl on the kitchen counter, regretting his decision a few seconds later as the act exposed his arm to the cold. "matilda's bowl is going to freeze over if you don't turn the thermostat up!"

"pish _posh_." the blonde adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "matilda likes the arctic, don't you, matilda?"

the goldfish, unable to comprehend human language, lazily swims in its decorated fishbowl.

"i take that as a _yes_." hyungwon smiles as if he has proven his point, before going back to his law book.

exasperated, wonho snatches the thermostat control from the coffee table, turning the temperature up to a more comfortable number. "that's better." he sighs as he peels off one of the comforters he wrapped himself in. "much, much better."

_beep beep._   


he wasn't even 3 seconds into enjoying the perfect temperature (for him) when hyungwon turned the temperature down to beyond-the-wall levels. wonho, with his brows knit together, shot a disbelieving glare at his merciless better.  
  
"oh, you're _on_."  
  
for five minutes, the entire apartment was filled with incessant beeping, the couple not backing down from their quest to have their perfect thermostat levels. it wasn't until hyungwon--possibly miffed from having his reading disturbed by his own _supposedly_ understanding husband _and_ the endless beeping--threw the thermostat control against the wall, effectively crushing it into pieces of metal and plastic.  
  
wonho's jaw drops in defeat. the thermostat was stuck in the frigid temperatures hyungwon liked. _great._  
  
"just stay closer to me if you really feel that cold, hoseok." the elder gives him a confused look, but the taller blonde has pulled his head unto his lap, covers and all, before he had the time to be confused. "body warmth _has_ been proven to be better."  
  
wonho doesn't know if his cheeks are red from embarrassment or from the warmth that quickly spreads from his chest to the rest of his body.

 


	4. Chapter 4

"hoseok!" hyungwon calls from the kitchen, his hands busy with whisking a couple of eggs. "we're out of salt!"  
  
wonho peeks his head from the living room, pouting his lips as he really didn't fancy going to their neighbors to ask for a bit of salt. "but isn't it your turn now, hyungwon? i went to the _ahjumma's_ apartment last time." the elder paused, recalling his past experience of having to go to the neighbors for some trivial thing. "and the time before that."  
  
"i'm busy." the blonde replies, emphasizing his point by speeding up his egg-whisking. "can't burn eggs."  
  
the ravenette groans, dragging his feet upon the carpeted floor as he goes to their downstairs neighbor to ask for some salt. he comes back with the requested item not even two minutes later, setting the saucer on the counter just as soon as hyungwon as about to put the eggs unto the pan.  
  
"thanks, yeobo." wonho cringes at the pet name, which was mostly used as a tease. "i'll go next time."  
  
he nods, before slinking back to the couch to continue watching his favorite series.  
  
the next time comes and hyungwon finds another perfect excuse to not go to their downstairs neighbor. and the next time arrives and the blonde still got something to keep his hands busy so he wouldn't be the one to go down from their penthouse. wonho begins to think that this is unfair, albeit suspicious, so he takes it to himself to cook breakfast the morning after. _to investigate_ , he thinks to himself.  
  
"we're out of pepper, hyungwon!" he calls from the kitchen, preparing a slab of steak of the grill. hyungwon emerges from his study, pausing for a few moments before moving towards matilda's fishbowl and dropping fish food into the water.  
  
 _blub._  
  
"you do it, _yeobo_." hyungwon orders, practically overfeeding the poor goldfish. "i'm feeding matilda."  
  
"you can do it after you feed the fish." wonho retaliates. "i can wait."  
  
hyungwon's stares at him in disbelief, mouth agape as he tries to think up of another excuse. "i'll make a run to the convenience store, then." he moves to slip on his shoes and his coat. "they should have pepper."  
  
"the nearest convenience store is 20 minutes away." wonho chides. "just get from the ahjumma downstairs."  
  
" _but_ \--" the blonde tries to reason out, but his supposedly brilliant logic didn't seem to be working for him at the moment. "i--"  
  
"just _go_ , hyungwon."  
  
hyungwon grunts, rolling his eyes as he gets out of their penthouse to go and collect some pepper from their downstairs neighbor. "if i don't come back in 5 minutes," he calls from the hallway. "consider yourself a _widow_."  
  
wonho snickers at his husband's dramatics.  
  
twenty minutes later, hyungwon comes back looking as dejected as he could, his arms filled with freshly baked bread, a bag of chocolate-chip cookies, and of course, a container of black pepper. his cheeks are red as if they were pinched, hard, and there was a subtle gloss of a kiss mark on his left cheek.  
  
" _pft_." the elder bites back a laugh, biting his knuckle to suppress an oncoming chortle. "what happened to you?"  
  
"did you ever _wonder_ why i didn't like going there, yeobo?" hyungwon elongates his syllables to emphasize his being miffed. "this isn't the first time this happened. i should file a restraining order. this is _abuse_. i'm going to have to insure my face."  
  
"calm down, hyungwonnie." wonho teases, wiping the blonde's cheek with a damp kitchen towel. "it doesn't look that bad."  
  
"she said i looked like her _son_ ," hyungwon narrates, puffing out his cheeks as he glares at his unsympathetic husband. "which is so stupid because his son looks like a troll. a fat, bald, and _old_ fucking troll."  
  
wonho couldn't stop the guffaw that came out of his system.  
  
"it's not _funny_! even at forty-one, i know i still look as modelesque as ever." the blonde puts a hand to his chest, doing his best to look as offended as he could. "that old hag is an insult to my ego. i should never, _ever_ go back to that house again."  
  
" _nah_." the ravenette picks up the bag of cookies from the younger's hold. "i like the cookies."  
  
" _then go get them yourself!_ " miffed, hyungwon throws the loaf of bread at his husband's face, before storming out of their living area and into their bedroom. "you're the _worst_!"  
  
wonho couldn't help but laugh at his better's childish ways. "i'll call you when the steak is done,  _love_!"

 


	5. Chapter 5

as one of the most successful yet openly homosexual couples in south korea, being interviewed by lifestyle channels and/or magazines was a usual for them. tonight, they were being interviewed in their home for a noontime show with a feature on power couples and pairs that helped each other grow while being lovers.  
  
"how did you two meet?" the woman interviewer asks, as if they haven't answered this question a million times.  
  
"we met when we were kids." both of them answer in chorus. the interviewer smiles as if she had just hit the jackpot. hyungwon lets his husband finish the entire tale. "our families are quite close. we met at a house party of sorts."  
  
"how _cute_!" hyungwon almost pukes in his mouth at the lady's enthusiasm, but he keeps his pristine visage flawless for the cameras. wonho notices his disgust, holds his hand and squeezes it. "does that mean your parents approved of the relationship despite the possible controversies?"  
  
wonho keeps his expression checked as he answers the rather touchy question. he hates these interviews. "my parents loved hyungwon, possibly more than they loved me." he makes it seem sound like a joke. hyungwon, who knows how close the answer is to the truth, gives his hand a reassuring squeeze. "hyungwon's, on the other hand..."  
  
"my father is _very_ traditional." hyungwon catches the query, answering vaguely with a grin. "but, i'm _charming_ enough to convince him about anything."  
  
the lady seems impressed, and they go over the usual routine of boring questions. _what made you pursue the relationship? how did you know he was the one? are you both exclusively homosexual? have you dated girls before?_ and so on. hyungwon is slowly getting agitated at how offensive the questions are getting, but he calms himself down with his husband's reassuring grip. he'd kiss him until he was breathless later. wonho knows he'd probably get a bleeding lip after the interview was over.  
  
"last question, loves." hyungwon clenches his fist so he doesn't snark. "who fell in love with the other first?"  
  
there was a small pause. wonho blinks a few times before opening his mouth to answer. "well, of course, _i_ \--"  
  
"who do _you_ think fell first, darling?" hyungwon throws the question back with a knowing smile.wonho looks at him with wide, questioning eyes. hyungwon does not reply with even a glance.   
  
"w-well..." the interviewer stutters at the unexpected turn of events. "i--"  
  
"the answer is..." hyungwon leans forward, resting his chin upon his knuckle. "there is no right answer. hoseok and i didn't fall in love." he gave his husband's hand a small squeeze as he turned his eyes to him. "we grew, and are still growing, in love."  
  
the interviewer is stunned by his poetics, bursting into a series of obviously fake sniffles andwiping an invisible tear away from her eye as she finished. "that was so beautiful. you truly are a couple to be _reverred_!"  
  
hyungwon tries not to gag as they wrap up the session.  
  
he doesn't wait another second to devour wonho's lips with his own as soon as the entire tv crew was out of their home. wonho answers to his kisses eagerly, almost _too_ eagerly, even, as if he knows how hard it was for his dearest better to control his agitation during interviews like those. he moans as hyungwon bites upon his lower lip and pulls, drawing the smallest amount of blood that the younger apologizes for with the gentle kisses that followed.  
  
" _i hate them so much_." hyungwon grunts, panting as he rests his head upon wonho's shoulder. wonho, in turn, rakes his fingers against the younger's blonde locks, his other hand wrapping around his waist to pull him closer.  
  
"we _can_ decline them next time, you know." wonho whispers, his voice deep and soothing. hyungwon sighs against his form. "we don't _always_ have to agree to these stupid interviews."  
  
"i don't _know_ , hoseok." he nuzzles further unto his elder's neck. wonho purrs at the tickling sensation. "i..." with a deep inhale, hyungwon moves to rest his forehead against wonho's own. "...kind of like letting the world know that you're not available, _yeobo_."  
  
wonho gives him a thoughtful smile, kissing his lips in the softest way possible. "as do i, _jagi_." another peck. "as do i."

**Author's Note:**

> hello! it's been a while since i last updated and yes i know i have a couple of things i promised that i haven't written yet (one sequel, one space au, and one continuing chapter), but work has been swallowing me up these past few months and i haven't had the time to breathe. but!! i decided to join the monsta x fic bingo (hosted by monstaxfanfic!) in an attempt to get my writing mojo back. anyway, here's a little forty!extra, done in the name of my first prompt, a domestic au.
> 
>  **SOME STUFF!**  
>  -most of the chapters are written with an omniscient POV, but, unlike forty, it delves a bit deeper unto hyungwon's thoughts and emotions, other than just wonho's point of view. this is kind of like an opening to the planned sequel, which focuses more on hyungwon's side of the story.  
> -this takes place in their first year after marriage, which entails a lot of squabbles about petty things, hence "pettifog"  
> -i firmly believe that south korea will be less conservative at the time hwh are 40  
> -also!! quiz time!! who do you think fell for who first? (you'll get your canon answer after i write the sequel--which is, hopefully, soon--but i wanna hear your ideas!)  
> -anyway, hope i didn't disappoint too much, loves!


End file.
